The Sasak tribe in Sade Village, Lombok, has existed for 1,500 years. Sade Village is located in the Rembitan area, Puju District, Central Lombok Regency, West Nusa Tenggara. Sade Village has now become a traditional and cultural tourist spot because there live the original Sasak tribe who still maintain their traditional customs or values. Sasak language is used by people in the Sasak tribe every day.
The unique Sasak traditions and customs attract tourists, including the abducted marriage custom, traditional building forms, and the art of weaving songket, a traditional Lombok cloth.
The people in Sade Village continue to preserve the local wisdom of the Sasak Tribe and do so to this day. One of them is the marriage tradition. In the village of Sade Lombok, the tradition of “kidnapping” girls is a tradition of how prospective husbands arrange and kidnap girls before the wedding.
In this tradition, a young man must “kidnap” the woman he wants and take her to a relative’s house at night. The next day, they will inform the girl’s family about the marriage.
“Marrying outsiders is also allowed, there are no restrictions,” said Salim as a tour guide when KPSHK visited Sade Village.
However, with outsiders, the dowry is more expensive. The Sasak tribe believes that kidnapping a girl to marry is much more chivalrous than if a young man came to propose nicely and ask the child to be married by their parents. This is disrespectful because the girl’s parents believe that the child is not the thing or thing that is being asked for.
Salim said that running away with kidnappers were two different things. Lari describes mutual liking between teenagers and girls, while kidnapping means being forced.
If someone from outside the village wants to marry a Sade girl, then he must take away the girl he likes, according to the Lari marriage tradition. After that, just tell the girl’s parents. Even if they don’t like or agree, parents will automatically agree to the young man’s notification.
The tradition of kidnapping marriages is carried out by force because of unrequited love or because only the young man likes the girl. Suppose there is a boy who likes his cousin, but the girl doesn’t like him. If he wanted to marry his cousin, he had to carry out his “kidnapping” while the girl was sleeping.
It should be emphasized that this “kidnapping” must be carried out by young men who kidnap girls without their parents’ knowledge or when their parents are not at home. Before marriage, the girl must be able to weave.
“Our tradition is that women must be able to weave before getting married, as a special requirement for a Sade Village girl who wants to get married,” said Salim.
After being kidnapped, whether she likes it or not, this girl has to accept and marry the young man who succeeded in kidnapping her. The process of running away or kidnapping must be successful if the girl is taken out of the house in one night. Otherwise, the process is unsuccessful. According to this tradition, a young man must dare to kidnap his girl at night and take her to a relative’s house. The marriage will not take place if the kidnapping or escape process is known.
Salim said that this tradition was related to a story in the past about a very beautiful king’s daughter who many men wanted to marry her. Nevertheless, the king did not remain silent. The king built a room which was closely guarded. He then held a competition so that the person who could kidnap his daughter would marry his daughter.
“In our religion, it is permissible to run away or kidnap four times after marriage,” said Salim
According to Salim, this situation is similar to a man who is married and wants to remarry. If a man wants to remarry, the wife must not know about it and the husband must not tell the wife. On the other hand, you have to run away or kidnap your prospective wife and then tell her that you are going to remarry. Marriages are arranged based on religion and country.
“On average in Sade, young people marry at the age of 15 – 16 years and those aged 20 years are considered spinsters,” said Salim.
The Culik Marriage tradition is a Sasak tribal custom that is still practiced today, which requires young men to kidnap if they want to marry a girl in Sade village.
Author: Alma
Editor: Tjong
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